Papa Kehtey Hein !!

Papa kehtey hein bada naam karega,
Beta hamara aisa kaam karega,
Magar yeh to koyi na jaane,
Ki meri manzil hei kahaan....

I bet apart from foreigners and some of my only Tamil friends everybody else knows this song. Anyhow, the point is not about knowing the song, its implication on my life. Grown up hearing this song and never tried to understand what it really means.
As said in that song every father dreams about his son to reach greater height and make him proud, and most fathers wants their son to take over him, and in due process they stood in front as a first example/ideal for us to take off. I guess most of the girls realize it fast, that's why they dream about their 2nd men in the life to be like their dad.

Okay, Does this song go in tune with my life ? I would say both 'Yes' and 'No'. 'YES' because my father dreamt about my success, and 'NO' because he never showed himself as an example instead he put forward himself as a imperfect example for us. That doesn't mean he is bad or irresponsible person he is just not formally educated. He struggled hard to earn the respect and faith throughout his life and still doing.

He is calm and composed, he never told us(me and my sister) to study hard, he never urged us to become an engineer or a doctor, he never advised us to do something of his wish. He monitored our progress from a distance and rarely talked about it. He only wanted us not to repeat the mistake he did in his early life, so that we shouldn't struggle later for our existence. He practically showed us how tough to follow his path.

During the same time, I saw my schoolmates who were literally beaten by their fathers for not studying, but my dad never treated us that way, Instead he told, "If you don't study well today, tomorrow you will end up doing hard work like me". Nothing more!! strangely it worked, because we noticed & experienced that pain too. Though we are studying we have to work a little time with him, its not required though but his intent is to show us that its not so easy to earn a penny. That's why I said he is formally uneducated because, he graduated from his own experiences that "I could have earned a lot many things in life, if I was educated". He just asked us the favour to study as much as we could and he is ready to do any hard work to pay for it.

Behind everything there should be a reason, and the reason behind him being not educated was fate. He was not as lucky as I am. When he was at his tender age of 7-8yrs, his dad passed away in a major accident. Aftermath whatever happened was a bizarre which he never admired but always remembered to keep us in a right path.

What he did for us then? he showed us how hard it is to earn a rupee, probably how easy to learn than to earn. Riding a cycle for 10miles with 70kgs load would fetch him hardly 15-20 Rs (0.4$), and the load is not of rice or ice. They are Soda bottles, dangerous and explosive, these are made of the same material which were used in some powerful explosions. He met with 2 major surgeries and countless minor accidents, being his better half my Mom also shared such injuries equally. Even I got a nasty blow on my face.

Does that make them quit that work and taking that extra risk? No, I know there is no pleasure or passion in doing that work, but they didn't find an alternative to choose either, because any alternative step would cost them money which they wanted for our studies. My Mom equally supported, helped and struggled without any regrets. We helped him at times which were like paid assignments, just made us think "Ohh God!! Its hard to earn money".

They didn't do this for them, its for us, for our studies and for our future. But that's not sufficient when we reached our graduation, so they happened to squeeze their sleep and prolonged the work, they started Milk booth and then a small coffee shop. Some people even advised him to let me go for some job, instead he was reluctant and suggested me to go for my Masters if I am interested. Though its sweet or bitter, Its always good to remember the past which would lead to a better future.

I still remember the day/days
he used to take me on his cycle to drop me at school, ofcourse that 70kgs+me..
he fought with my principle for beating me without any reason and changed the school next day.
he used to give me 10Rs per day for waving hand while he leave for his work in the morning. (Of course that money was used for my schooling)
he used to pay the debts to clear our education loans,

If I keep saying it would made a long list of deeds which he did for me and my sister. All I could do is just take care of them and couldn't let them struggle anymore. What ever I do for them is not worth the blood and sweat they shed for me. I may not be such an example for my kids(i mean in future) but I can certainly tell them how tough their grand parents were and what they could learn from them. All dad's are superman's for their kids, my dad is no exception and today 23rd of Jan is his Birthday and I wish him to make many more Happy Birthdays in a relaxed mood tuning to his songs.

I hope he is proud of me, but I didn't reach my MANZIL, so signing off humming "koyi na jaane, ki meri manzil hei kahaan..."

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Love Vibes

WHAT IS LOVE?

Is it a funny Word?? Not really. Trillions have gone through, though billions struggle out, Millions snuggle in, thousands of articles, hundreds of books, tens of vocabulary, and still that single thriving Question "What is Love ?" which most people ask to themselves. Is Love the feeling, when u looks something and feels that u are no needier for anything else other than that? Where you feel blind and never even find your own image in mirror.. Is it the state when your heart feels more comfortable and in the complete state of satisfaction? ...

But I think the main thing is need, satisfaction, trust, care, freedom, compatibility. What one human wants differ from person to person, so as the LOVE has got its own meaning for different people. It is what I heard recently that its not all about words its about feelings? so we cant define it exactly in lines or lives, atleast I cant.

Love has different vibes...We can feel it anytime, anywhere in anyone or anything...We can't even know how we start feeling for something or someone at any moment of time. Love has various vibes....There are many who cant live without the presence of someone they love but there are even many for whom the physical presence of the person doesn't matter, and they can feel the same for that person finding their satisfaction in their own manner. Some are even living to see their love live happily and some die or kill to achieve their love. Sometimes it gets the best out of a person or else a worst phase of his life

We happen to see a lot of people who constantly looking for love whether they succeed or not, and it's not necessary that you love only a single person at the same time. Human nature is something like most needy for love so he/she can find it in different people so it's a common fact that you cannot love two persons at the same time. But there is something called being into relation with someone and giving it a name, for that you get committed with someone and thinks that that's the only one that you can love. But at the same time someone else can also make you feel for him/her. You can love the person too while being in love with one. The only thing is you yourself restrict your heart and mind from loving the second person when you are already committed with the one. So just remember that love has its own modes, no one can know with it. It's just a feeling that can crop up any time, anywhere and for anyone. You can't stop yourself from feeling so as you can't stop yourself from loving two or more people at the same time.

The physical attachment summed up to love leads to a state of commitment for a person who leaves the rest of their love world behind. At this point of time he/she will never really look for anyone else to share their love with and will bound to their own shackles of love. If he/she still look for someone else to share their love, I must say its not love any more its just Desire. If you are the one who considers it as just a hormonal reaction or some sort of disease then you are the one who gonna experience it soon. It got both positive vibes and negative too. Again its a matter of feelings and the way you respond to them let you Up or down side of the love. The negative energy could leads to birth of aberration within you in the form of frustration, anger, possessiveness, jealousy. Whereas on the other side a positive vibes create a sense of satisfaction, sacrifice, care, security. No matter where it leads to, but everyone fell for it at least once during their life time unless he/she is a retard.

After reading all this don't look for me to give comments, I am going on a search for my true LOVE ;)..

LOVE is a ........

Love is a misty way
when life is so bright,
Love is a tilt sway
when you stand straight

It's a poet's chimeric feel
that wondered in the books
heartbreaks are hard to heal
in real that's how it crooks

Love is a lust game
just meant to be played.
Love is a must name
just overly clichéd.

It's dominated by cheaters,
flirters, and rule-breakers.
Those three little words
were often spoken by fakers.

Love is an flu of emotion
and hormones are the cause.
Love is glue of perfection
that brings out your flaws.

It's the mode a Young takes
into believing that it's real.
Soon conscious of mistakes,
next fear is what you feel.

Love is a wish
desired by so many loners.
Love is a sight
shown off by its owners.

It's a sad pathetic world
when love is only wanted,
for the sake of having it,
and for it to be flaunted.

Love is a drug,
addictive and strong.
Love is a toy.
and you're strung along.

The endings are painful,
yet again you will start,
to end with more lies and tears,
and another cruelly broken heart.

Love is a reason
to be treated like dirt.
Love is an excuse,

an excuse to get hurt.

How to treat people ?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Five Lessons to Make Us Think About The Way We Treat People

Lesson 1 - The Cleaning Lady

During my second month of college, our professor gave us a pop quiz. I was a conscientious student and had breezed through the questions until I read the last one:

"What is the first name of the woman who cleans the school?"

Surely this was some kind of joke. I had seen the cleaning woman several times. She was tall, dark-haired and in her 50s, but how would I know her name?

I handed in my paper, leaving the last question blank. Just before class ended, one student asked if the last question would count toward our quiz grade.

"Absolutely," said the professor. "In your careers, you will meet many people. All are significant. They deserve your attention and care, even if all you do is smile and say "hello."

I've never forgotten that lesson. I also learned her name was Dorothy.

Lesson 2 - Pick Up In The Rain

One night, at11:30 p.m., an older African American woman was standing on the side of an Alabama highway trying to endure a lashing rainstorm. Her car had broken down and she desperately needed a ride. Soaking wet, she decided to flag down the next car. A young white man stopped to help her, generally unheard of in those conflict-filled 1960s. The man took her to safety, helped her get assistance, and put her into a taxicab.

She seemed to be in a big hurry, but wrote down his address and thanked him. Seven days went by and a knock came on the man's door. To his surprise, a giant console color TV was delivered to his home. A special note was attached.

It read: "Thank you so much for assisting me on the highway the other night. The rain drenched not only my clothes, but also my spirits. Then you came along. Because of you, I was able to make it to my dying husband's bedside just before he passed away... God bless you for helping me and unselfishly serving others."

Sincerely, Mrs. Nat King Cole.

Lesson 3 - Always remember those who serve

In the days when an ice cream sundae cost much less, a 10-year-old boy entered a hotel coffee shop and sat at a table. A waitress put a glass of water in front of him.

"How much is an ice cream sundae?" he asked.

"Fifty cents," replied the waitress.

The little boy pulled is hand out of his pocket and studied the coins in it.

"Well, how much is a plain dish of ice cream?" he inquired.

By now more people were waiting for a table and the waitress was growing impatient.

"Thirty-five cents," she brusquely replied.

The little boy again counted his coins.

"I'll have the plain ice cream," he said.

The waitress brought the ice cream, put the bill on the table and walked away. The boy finished the ice cream, paid the cashier and left. When the waitress came back, she began to cry as she wiped down the table. There, placed neatly beside the empty dish, were two nickels and five pennies.

You see, he couldn't have the sundae, because he had to have enough left to leave her a tip.

Lesson 4 - The Obstacle In Our Path

In ancient times, a King had a boulder placed on a roadway. Then he hid himself and watched to see if anyone would remove the huge rock. Some of the king's wealthiest merchants and courtiers came by and simply walked around it. Many loudly blamed the King for not keeping the roads clear, but none did anything about getting the stone out of the way.

Then a peasant came along carrying a load of vegetables. Upon approaching the boulder, the peasant laid down his burden and tried to move the stone to the side of the road. After much pushing and straining, he finally succeeded. After the peasant picked up his load of vegetables, he noticed a purse lying in the road where the boulder had been. The purse contained many gold coins and a note from the King indicating that the gold was for the person who removed the boulder from the roadway.

The peasant learned what many of us never understand - Every obstacle presents an opportunity to improve our condition.

Lesson 5 - Giving When It Counts

Many years ago, when I worked as a volunteer at a hospital, I got to know a little girl named Liz who was suffering from a rare & serious disease. Her only chance of recovery appeared to be a blood transfusion from her 5-year old brother, who had miraculously survived the same disease and had developed the antibodies needed to combat the illness. The doctor explained the situation to her little brother, and asked the little boy if he would be willing to give his blood to his sister.

I saw him hesitate for only a moment before taking a deep breath and saying, "Yes I'll do it if it will save her." As the transfusion progressed, he lay in bed next to his sister and smiled, as we all did, seeing the color returning to her cheek. Then his face grew pale and his smile faded.

He looked up at the doctor and asked with a trembling voice, "Will I start to die right away".

Being young, the little boy had misunderstood the doctor; he thought he was going to have to give his sister all of his blood in order to save her.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Work like you don't need the money, love like you've never been hurt, and dance like you do when nobody's watching."

Courtesy : http://jacquiscurve.blogspot.com/2007_09_01_archive.html

Who Wrote My First Love Letter ?

I still remember those refreshing days of my schooling. when i had gone past 12yrs and started wearing Full trousers instead of those skinny short pants, with a feel from inside that, "I had grown up baby!!!"..

I was in class 7 and only three worlds were known to me... Home, School, and PLAYGROUND..


One fine day when I was playing in school ground I heard a voice from behind, calling me.

"Murali Krishnaaaaaa... Murali Krishnaaa.."

I thought "who the hell is disturbing me" and turned around, to my disbelief its was one of my class teacher.

[Note: Friends here most of the conversations were actually happened in my native language TELUGU, but for everyones understanding, im writing in English]

I approached her half heartedly and wished her "Good Afternoon Teacher !!!" n from inside << "why this stupid teacher is calling me now ?">>

she said with her fowl face, "Principal sir wants to talk to you " and left.

"oops !! several questions raised in my mind.. why ? what ? how ?"

I am sweating but thats mixed up with my play time sweat. I am going closer to his room and my tension is raising..

I Knocked at his door and asked with a humble voice "Excuse me !! sir"

"Yes !" a cool and gentle wishper came from inside.

I thought that there is nothing serious to worry, and wished him "Good Afternoon Sir"

"Well ! hows your studies going on ?" the first question came from him like a rocket..

"Fine sir", I murmured..

"Do you really think that you are concentrating on your studies these days ?", the second question made me think for a while,

<<"why he is asking so ? what made him ask like that ??" >> and i answered in a low Voice "yes sir"

And to my dismay his next command is "take a dictation, I want to test you."

He told me to write and started dictating in Telugu. "Bharatha Desham Naa Mathru bhoomi, nenu naa deshamunu premisthunnanu. Bharatheeyulu andharu naa sahodharulu..... " [Actually its a Telugu version of our Pledge "India is my country, I love my country, all Indians are my brothers and sister.... "]

I am writing what ever he was dictating but in my heart i am thinking <<"Why the hell he is making me to write all this nonsense ?">>

Then he told me to stop and took the paper from me. and along with that he took a paper from his table too..

He is carefully inspecting the 2 papers. i don't have any idea, why he made me to write. I am just worried about how many mistakes i wrote.

then he had thrown that paper on my face and started showering words on me.

" I never expected this from you, I didn't call your parents because, I know you are a bright student and your parents are doing hard work for your studies and career, now don't make them feel sad with your deeds"

I am hearing but didn't understood why he is over reacting for a small dictation, when he himself knows that I am the class first.

Then he said "This is my first and last warning, never repeat this again.."

I was standing quite and unfolded the paper that he throwed at me and I was stunned to notice that.

IT WAS A LOVE LETTER WRITTEN BY ME ?????? (Not exactly Me somebody wrote on behalf of ME to my classmate Miss J)

on that letter some words were rounded off like "nenu [me], premisthunnanu [love] and some more words" .. and i understood the real mystery behind his dictation.

and I started arguing with him "Its not me !! I had never written this letter."

then he raised his voice " If you didn't write how those words are matching ??"

I thought in mind, "what a weird analysis, a boy of my age will write the same way how i wrote.."

I am inspecting the paper like Bhomkesh Bhakshi ( a detective character from a Hindi thriller serial which was famous that times ) and found a clue and showed him.

In Telugu "K" resembles "S" word and the fellow who created the letter plot wrote "K.Murali" in Telugu instead of "S.Murali" which I showed him, and argued further that I am innocent.

Then at last he said " whether you wrote this or not, but this shouldn't repeat again, and concentrate on your studies, Because your parents have lot of hopes on you."

I left the room but not his words, Till now I never wrote a Love letter !! that much his words inspired me.

So, that was my first love letter, Still I don't know "Who Wrote My First Love Letter?"

Who is the WINNER ???

Another sweet memory of my school days. Those were the days when I am still in Short pants but advanced from pencil to ball-pen stage.

Like Studies, like Enjoyment, always in the first lane. Very enthusiastic when it comes to games. Used to play with full energy levels and efforts. As a sports person (I think "KID" is better word) I used to have lot of friends and at the same time rivals too.. he he he he

Those were the days when Mega Star Chiranjeevi's (south Indian (Telugu) famous actor) "GANG LEADER" movie was released and all my friends were greatly inspired by that movie to such an extent, that they decided to form into a GANG. (i am exceptional because at home everybody is Super star Krishna's Fans, so no other option for me).

As i cant leave them, even I too joined the GANG. (you can call it as Thotti gang and what ever you like). But its too difficult to maintain a gang in those days too. one should spend 2-3Rs/day to prove their presence among the members, somehow I used to manage that also. Like that we used to have a gang of 5-6 people (better word will be "KIDS").

And at the same time we were inspired by the stories of "The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn" which was one of our English text book in syllabus. so always playing such type of nonsense fundoo games (which we thought of it as adventure). Running through the meadows and hiding in bushes for hours, paper boats for transport and sticks as our arms, soda goli's and a lot.

And major worry was to choose a leader. Everybody in the gang wants to be leader and nobody can accept the other as a leader. so this Gang decided to continue without a leader. How much close we might be to each other, still there will be some conflict between us for silly matters. In due course of time we evidenced lot of situations like that.

One fine evening, when I on my way to our DEN (Don't think too much, its none other then our school ground) two of my Gangsters (Mr.X and Mr.Y) were fighting for something, but not seriously. so thought of solving the problem and I entered the arena.

After hearing carefully to their problem I came to know that they were fighting about sharing something evenly.

Mr.X is arguing that " I payed the money so, it should be mine"
and Mr.Y says, "though you bought them, I stole the extra one, so it should be mine"

Those were their cut short arguments, I tried to solve the problem they were not convincing..

At last I got an Idea and said " Ok! guys cool down, I have an Idea if you both follow that, It will decide who among you deserves that thing well"

Both agreed and the verdict started.

I gave them a chocolate wrapper ("Nutrine Aasai Chocolate" very famous that time) and told them " Guyz hold on the either sides of the wrapper and pull, who ever is getting the wrapper, he is the winner"

They said "okay!!"

Mr.X is holding the wrapper on left side and Mr.Y on the right side

As I said ready they started pulling it with their full strengths. None gave up and the wrapper started stretching and at last they ended up breaking the wrapper.

They are still looking at each others blank face, "Now who is winner ??"

Then I told them, "Friends!! this is what happens if u stretch any discussion for long time, it will worse the situation and it may finally lead to break up of your friendship too."

Then they realized the fact and smiled at each other and thought of sharing the extra one equally.

Here is the interesting part started and ended too." where is the extra one?"

They started gazing at me..

I said "Sorry friends !!" and ran away from there... ha ha ha ha ha

[Actually they were quarreling about the same chocolate whose wrapper, I gave them to pull and by the time they were pulling, i swallowed the chocolate.. ha ha ha ha ha...]

Now tell me " Who is the WINNER ???"